bankrupt(ured).
septembre 21, 2008, 20:34
Classé dans : 1

First goes the real estate market, then the banks.What next? Law firms? :/



Coveting Chanel
septembre 18, 2008, 23:47
Classé dans : shopping

I have been a terrible person lately in terms of merchandizing but no matter what I always find good reasons to support my bad habit. Today, Patrick flew into Raleigh. He is officially out of that wasteland of a country and back to the land of freedom and fast food. YAY!!! For the 6 months of misery, this is what I get:

Can’t wait till it gets shipped to our house in Maryland. It should arrive by Tuesday, and Patrick should come back earlier than that I hope. Bureaucracy, pffffft. Of course I couldnt help looking around more and guess what I found? The classic Chanel cambon tote that I once liked. I shall get it after the wedding to reward myself for planning my wedding 10,000 miles away and doing all my appointments in 3 weeks :D



The Evangelist
septembre 18, 2008, 20:20
Classé dans : Life, Suburbia America, Thoughts, friendship

I’ve had previous rants on why I dislike Christians and Christianity but today, I paused to think. I am surrounded by lots of shining exemplars, like Patty. She is the most amazing person I have ever met, without a doubt. I can wax lyrical on my mother in law forever and not tire from it. Besides having to take care of her husband, daughter, elderly mother who resides in a senior living house ( its real posh and they serve awesome food! ), she also helps me out with wedding preparation and even finds time to host a church cell group last sunday. Her dinners are also pretty good. All my life, I’ve developed this cynical complex and suddenly when faced with such love and warmth, I react the only way possible — positively. Rage and melancholia have been absent from my life instead I get a smile and a hug from Patty everyday. I thought Id have to deal with the same family stuff in Portland but its so different here.Patrick gets back real soon and we will be reunited again, cant wait. Sigh.

I am such a fortunate child.



For better things to come..
septembre 18, 2008, 04:49
Classé dans : Agent of Amour, Thoughts, wedding

If you’re wondering I removed the previous entry because the issue was resolved graciously with much smiles and laughter among everyone. As this week comes to an end, the leaves start to change colors and autumn beckons with falling temperatures and shedding trees. My wedding preparation is almost done, most of everything has been paid for — the church, the reception hall, the wedding dress, the flowers.. The tuxedos have been picked out, and the boys will look so sharp in their suits. Thinking back to last week when I saw the ensemble of the tuxedos sends a tingle own my spine in anticipation. I shan’t elaborate more than to say that I will walk down the aisle with Patrick in his Calvin Klein with a silver vest inside matching tie and the boys in a similar tux with a claret vest and matching patterned tie to match the girls dressed in claret halters. Delicious.

There’s something nostalgic about Fall. The leaves start to fall while the nights grow colder and winter approaches. Its like the earth is mourning the end of summer. Things come a full circle. And how fitting that Patrick should fly home from Iraq and that the box turtle we found yesterday should have her owner calling in today, and my wedding preparation will finish tomorrow after our last visit to the florist. And as if to illuminate everything in shades of autumn, the moon tonight was bleeding red. Its hypnotic beauty was frightening and maybe it was the chill of approaching fall but I found myself shivering a little. There’s just something poetic about fall, something pensive that makes me yearn for memories of the summer but also look forward to warmth of sitting infront of the fireplace every winter with Patrick.

This year, as man and wife.



Damn if I do and damn if I don’t.
septembre 13, 2008, 10:06
Classé dans : shopping

More of a light hearted entry of everyday fluff.

Wretched as I knew I would be, I had to purchase this pair of babies on www.ninewest.com that I lusted over at the Ninewest store in the Cuppage building back in Singapore. I justified my purchase by telling myself that they were $30 SGD more expensive in Singapore, plus I got free shipping through the ninewest website!

With all the time I have in my hand whiling away in suburbia america, I also trawl sinful websites like ebay for fashion porn. Lately I have been losing sleep over getting the perfect outfit for Patrick’s navy ball coming up one week before my wedding. At the risk of being a tad less formal for a black tie event, I shall purchase the most amazing dress. I am hopelessly in love with it and I know its the right kind od of wrong. Under this lovelorn spell of apparel lust, I push my luck everyday to check to see if its been sold off ebay and when it isnt, I like it that much more because its meant to be. Unfortunately, the price itself is also way steep. But hey, you only live once right? Youth is ephemeral and I’m a 25″ only for so long.



godless.
septembre 10, 2008, 10:04
Classé dans : 1

It struck me today that religiousity is inversely related to wealth. Religious people seem to fare worse down the financial scale. In order to validate my argument, I must set my parameters right.

Clearly I’m not talking about fair weathered christians or non practicing jews or muslims who aren’t teetotal. I consider these people as non religious because aside from namesake and the occasional guilt ridden lipservice towards their uncomfortable acknowledging of a faith they push towards the forgotten oblivion of their minds,  they really arent religious in the same way church workers are. I also discount the clockwork psuedo religious types that say grace before their meals or say a certain number of rosaries before bed time because this forms a habit that is quite mindless and methodical. The list is endless but you get the idea.

Instead the people I talk about are those they are browbeaten into thinking that every little something they do is a sin of diabolical proportions. Those who decide that god controls destiny and who doesn’t try to do something to change anything. And you wonder why they are mired in poverty. Step up another level and I meet people who are regular church going folks, engage socially in church and are active members of their religious community. These people include the pastoral team and other church team players who partake in the enterprise that christianity, and indeed religion has become. I have personally developed into an athiest but until America can accept a Black president I will always remain cautious in unfolding my lack of a religious affiliation. They did a poll once and the results came out, apparently Americans are more willing to vote for a black, gay BUT christian president than a straight atheist. So much irony in that, like how Christianity condemns homosexuality and how some branches hated on black people for a long while. Think Joseph Smith and his Klan posse. Additionally might I add that I never really could grasp the reasoning behind why people think that atheists are evil when it is no little irony that many atheists dont believe in good and evil because these two words were invented by Christianity. Others frown upon the negation of the good/evil classification because they cannot escape the socialization that Christian modernity upbringing has imposed on us. Apparently, life can be faceted into two dimensions — good and evil. People can only be either or. Judeo-Christian tradition leaves no compromise for the person who grapples with the uncertainly of life, who is much more complex than simple good and evil. I mean seriously, where is the depth in life? Suddenly, hedonism is irresponsible and.. bad. Thats another thing, the good and bad divide akin to the good and evil rubbish. The problem is not so much morality. Its which sort of morality. For most christians there can only be one morality, the absolute biblical one. Whatever happened to the roman code of morality, where attributes like pride are considered strength and there was eloquence in fighting war. Instead these two form the bane of man’s existence and we are taught to turn the other cheek according to the bible.

Which brings me back to my argument. Christians are taught to turn the other cheek, maybe thats why they are being preyed upon. It is ludicrous to ask to be slapped again, which is the plain language of what Jesus requires of us. Bearing in mind that if it holds true that Jesus is indeed somewhat more immortal than the rest of mankind, don’t his abilities come from that infallible part of him bestowed upon by God? And if they were, then why are normal human beings demanded the same standard when they are handicapped by human nature which is supposedly flawed? If you follow my line of reason it becomes clear that we are not allowed to be us. And if God loved and if love is patient, kind and forgiving then why are we not allowed to remain the way we are? And worse, werent we made imperfect? Why would an all powerful deity make something imperfect like Eve who was invincible against everything but a fruit? Most importantly why live when you have other people namely parents and mothers in law , an old old book and an invisible man in the sky telling you what to do and what NOT to do.

So many people would hella benefit if this sheet of guilt was lifted off from their shoulder that the judeo-christian tradition imposes on that. But I suppose I also agree with Descartes’ conviction that if god didnt exist we would have to invent him. Some people need that, to tide them through distress when human efforts come to naught in face of something finite like death. Some people need to know someone else is in control of the situation and others need to know that there’s life after death with 72 virgins waiting in paradise beyond.

But here’s a thought : I suppose it wouldnt make a difference if there was a god or not. If there was, I would be soulless and burning in hell but life would’ve been baller. If there wasn’t, well what difference did it make at least I had a ballin’ life.

Either way I win.



Life is beautiful.
septembre 9, 2008, 06:08
Classé dans : Agent of Amour, Life, Suburbia America, Thoughts, travels, wedding

Any previously existing wedding jitters have been replaced by a flurry of excitement waiting to explode into colorful confetti. Everything is finally coming together; the 2 tier cake lemon chiffon and coffee flavored in each respective tier crowned off with a dash of dark pink peonies has been chosen, the Vera Wang fitted and sent for alterations, the flowers picked to preen bouquets, the silver Enzo Angiolinis purchased, the wedding stationary inspected, the invitations mailed out, the church paid for… The pieces of a puzzle will fit together to form a stunning picture in 6 weeks. I can’t wait to see Patrick in a little over a week and more than anything else, I desperately can’t wait for our lives to finally meld together. Every time I picture our wedding, a bubble of excitement rises because this is all a secret to Patrick who will enjoy the intricacies of our wedding affair. Tonight, I lie on my bed and brushing aside the cliché of it all I want to shout my happiness from our rooftop into the darkest night. In Portland during the past week of amazing weather, my heart sings merrily below the clear blue skies everyday and I feel invincible like never before.



google
septembre 4, 2008, 21:49
Classé dans : Suburbia America, Thoughts

Cyber stalking made easy.

Its frightening how easily google pulls out websites of memories that people wish to forget, angry rhetorics sprawled across livejournal, an interview done about college admissions. Pictures on social networking websites tell a thousand and one words. Teenage angst siphoned onto blogs make me wonder if anything has really changed.

In this world where cyber footprints are indellible, I am not sure if our anonymity is guaranteed anymore.



10,000 miles away
septembre 2, 2008, 23:58
Classé dans : Life, Suburbia America

I have a nagging cold that refuses to go away no matter how many nyquils and dayquils I take. Happily, I’ve traded health for a bunch of other things. For instance, I get my own room, ample privacy and a steadfast internet connection. Additionally, I also get 2 sets of doting parents — a far cry from last week when mom was constantly egging on me. Patrick gets back in a little over 2 weeks and I’ve already bought my air tickets.

Life is good when the only thing you have to worry about is staying away from the refrigerator.