So my last week or so in Maryland was way busy with medical appointments, hanging out at the house with my housemates, st paddy’s at DC for shamrock festival and a house party last friday. I was reluctant to leave actually because I’ve only just gotten use to living myself without Patrick and actually having fun with my friends. Anyway I’m in florida now. Besides the amazing weather, beautiful beaches, palm trees and cheapass food, I’m also planning to get Pat to take me to an outlet mall in Alabama. If the weather permits, we’ll probably head out to orlando for the weekend of his birthday, for disneyworld and probably rides at an amusement park. Its crazy how everyone here is leaner than the average american in say, MD, and tanner too. People are also hella friendly here, very unlike the off standish manner of marylanders. Its very nice here, except the fucking internet connection is erratic here at our hotel room. Its free wireless so everyone is allowed to milk the bandwidth   So if you’re wondering why I havent been on messenger or facebook much, this is why; they won’t even load. Also my laptop has been really slow lately. Patrick brought me to look at new laptops at bestbuy yesterday and we both fell in love with the Sony Vaio which was like almost 2 grand. I kinda don’t wanna spend so much fricking money on a laptop right now so I’m just gonna stick with mine and reformat that pos so I can start on a clean slate all over again. We also looked at cell phones for me because mine is really really old ( like 4 years old ) and I need a 3g phone to work in Japan anyway. I hate changing devices so for now I’m gonna stick with my old phone. I thought about the iphone but by god I hate apple and I hate the fact that I can’t use my nails on it more. On the other hand its got a nice interface and I can probably get it for free from my dad.

Decisions decisions.

I love it when Patrick surprises me with flowers When these were delivered I didn’t even hear the door bell ring because I had my headphones on while watching Fred Claus ( great movie! ) and was pleasantly surprised when Ken came down the stairs with a vase full of gorgeous flowers. The card contained a simple message “cuz cuz cuz I love you “. As maudlin as it sounds, I was so touched I cried. He remembered that my favorite flowers are roses, stargazers ( that particular color ) and carnations!

Have you ever asked the fates for a sign? About something you were real conflicted about? Well I did and it prevailed in spite of my cynicism. My heart is lighter now and I am more resolute. Patrick really is the best that’s ever happened to me and I need to straighten up my act and start appreciating him better instead of chastising him so much about various stupid things that don’t matter now.

And inspite of myself, my selfishness I do love you.

I bought my round trip tickets for florida yesterday with my mileage so aside from the $85 I had to pay for airport taxes this is a free trip woohoo! I’m fucking bored in Maryland and I loath to stay home every.single.day with only the dogs for company. So after I’m done with all of Curry’s and my medical crap, I’ma get the hell out of Maryland to be with Patrick down south. I was administered my last vaccination yesterday, Curry’s final visit to the vet will b e next saturday, he leaves for Portland the day after and on Monday I fly out to Pensacola. Really that’s why I’ve been here all this time, waiting to see if Patrick could get a room for both of us and also wrapping up our life here to start another one in Japan.

It’s pretty sweet that I get to stay with him in the barracks for free, and that we have our own room/bathroom but he says that the speed of the room internet blows If you know me, you know that I am 1200 % reliant on the internet. Indeed my LIFE in online, kill the internet and my world crumbles. But to mollify the situation a bit, he says that the lounge has decent internet access or so he hears from his colleague and there is a starbucks down the road with wifi, which I highly doubt is free because this isn’t singapore. Still, I should not be one to complain! I’ll be reunited with my husband again and we get to go to the beach whenever we feel like it. I’m also gonna check out the shopping outlets and we plan to visit theme parks around the area.

SO EXCITING.

Curry shall have to be shipped to Portland where he will be stifled with the love of all my in laws. Because Frank, the great dane will be in indiana by April and the puppy will be bored out of his little canine mind alone in our house. So its better this way.

God I can’t fucking wait.

Now I’m trying to figure out if I should spend $260 on an air ticket to Sacramento. There really isn’t any reason for me not to go for spring break seeing how cheap the ticket is, and how warm it will be there ( high 60s snd 70s ! ) contrary to the rain and cold Maryland will have to content with next week which of course I will be miserable indoors as opposed to out enjoying the spring , I also get to stay with an amazing friend so accomodation is free. And I’ve always wanted to visit SF especially hearing how awesome it is from my parents who were there in 2004 ( i think ) and we kids had to stay at my grandma’s place for 2 weeks.

But I’m also thinking about how I have to bother my housemates to wake up at like 4.30 to take me to the airport, even though its a monday anyway and they have to wake up early for work. Ken and Chris have been really, really, REALLY nice to me. They take me around for my errands, to the base for my medical appointments , post office for etsy, invite me to hang out with their friends for beer pong even though I’m anti-social, suck at pong and need my teammate to bail me out eveytime but I had so much fun. Ken even took care of Curry when we flew back to Singapore for cny.. I want to do something nice for them but I don’t really know what because these boys are self sufficient and don’t need anything. To ameliorate my guilty conscience I do the dishes, collect the mail and take the trash out so they can just chillax at home after work. Its the insufferable guilt of having to burden them for all my shit that really eats me alive.

HOW????

For my husband:

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

What could possibly be THIS exciting at 1.34 in the morning??

Pathetic innit. Not a drunken orgy, nor a car crashing into my garage, or even a giant earthworm eating me from the inside. Not even that, but facebook.

I was randomly cruising the site, determined not to go back to my 1234567 words of study vocab that I should really get down to memorizing ( how do u think prc kids score so well for psle?? ) when lo and behold I randomly decided to google my primary school. And I actually found people that formed part of my childhood, like my neighbor who has apparently undergone puberty and even made it to college. Oh, do they grow up fast! This triggered a temporary high and the desire to see how many more friends I can dig out from the abyss of facebook. I googled friends I knew from scouts and actually found them.

I don’t know why I sound so incredulous about this, when most people automatically expect to find others on facebook giving truth to the adage “you exist if you facebook”. Indeed I prefer to be pleasantly surprised upon discovering that someone else I know is actually on facebook.

Life’s more fun that way.

Particularly so if your bedfellow is y=mx+c

I love getting mail.

There is something fun about receiving packages in the mail, it may be the anticipation of waiting, the relief of finally getting what you have been anxiously waiting upon or just the element of surprise when you receive something unexpectantly.

One out of the 4 GRE practice books I ordered online, finally came today. Ironically it was my most recent purchase; the other three orders placed as early as last wednesday are taking an eternity of 10 lifetimes to get here. Bah. Complaints shall be filed if they fail to show up by late next week, of course I’ll be flipping out by then. Meanwhile, I have my sister in law’s GRE notes to study, from when she was taking the test to enter the masters program for psychology here at the University of Baltimore.

I’ve always prized myself as a vocabulary/grammar/spelling whiz, so it is with profound irony ( and reluctance ) that I should admit that perhaps the math section is somewhat more manageable that the english section, when I did the trial tests on monday right before I did any kind of prelimanary studying. Learning new words can be so overwhelming and for the questions, you either know it or you don’t. On the other hand, math problems while tedius are solvable with a bit of patience and time. And the right formula of course.

Other than studying, my quiet day at home is turning out quite fantastic.

Righto, I should really stop procrastinating and get back to my cheerfully colored pink, green, yellow and azure little notes.

Sigh.

Its weird to watch our favorite TV shows when you aren’t around..

I miss you hubby. Come home soon..

Last year around this time, my schedule was chocked full of travel agendas. There was some serious tomb raiding to do among the ruins of the Angkor Wat, conference trips to Jakarta, Brussels and alas my long awaited pilgrimage to Paris. This year in March I am in Maryland permanently glued to my couch studying for the GREs while my husband is basking in the glorious warmth of Florida. In terms of travel, spring of 2009 is only mediocre. But I take comfort in our cross country plans for May when we drive across the United States from Maryland to Oregon taking in the sights and sounds across historical landmarks like Nashville, Yellowstone Park, Yosemite and the Rockies. Happily the Navy is paying us to do this roadtrip! Afterwhich we will sojourn in Portland for a couple of days before Japan beckons!

I’ve decided I should get to see as much of the world as possible while in the far east so in July when I go back to Singapore for convocation, I shall be making short trips to Delhi and later, Mumbai with a possible stop in Islamabad. Hopefully this doesn’t screw up my chances for a clearance later on in life. Ah well, what’s life without taking chances? We are immensely lucky that Patrick has been chosen to be an aide to the fleet admiral in Japan. Hopefully I get to accompany him to all the incredible places he’ll get to go. To Manila for the healthy dose of reality, to Moscow for patronage to Stalin, to Colombo for the crabs. And since Paula is in Turkey, going there is a must! I was planning for us to visit her Christmas 09 but that shall have to wait since my family intend to spend xmas with us in Japon. And oh Justin shall be stationed in England, 3 hours from London. Perfect chance to visit Europe with a free stay in England you know how expensive the pound can get.

HOPEFULLY.

Memory can be a cruel thing. But dreams, too can be lethal.

These 2 days have been a trip down memory lane, and not the good kind might I add. Sure IJ days were sublime, saturdays spent traipsing around Junction 8 after girl guides or languid lunches over bubble tea at Quickly ( remember them? ). Aside from the good times it is most unfortunate I should also remember the sheer frustration of cracking A math problems , and calculating tedious fractions into the wee hours of the early morning. These are not fond memories I wish to recall on cold,wintry nights 7 years later. Alas, I lack an alternative.

Actually I could instead go back to memorizing the 10,000 words I have next to me.

Which isn’t much of an alternative really. Oh the throes of academia with their mindless tests and stupid entry exams that I scorn if only for the anxiety it delivers.

On a happier note, Crystal introduced me to a spiffy website today. As if my ebayeurism isn’t enough threat to my ( and the husband’s ) bank account. In the spirit of our impeding move to nippon, here are my recent acquirements:

1. a vinyl rack for my shoes, hung way above his reach so Curry will never again chew up ferragamos

2. Another one for all my purses, so they are stacked neatly on top of each other instead of strewn around on the floor. Vulnerable to puppies and baby teeth as sharp as flint.

3. Finally, something to put my cotton balls and q-tips in so I don’t have to bend over the jacuzzi searching for damn q-tips in the middle of the night because I accidentally knock the package over in my midnight pilgrimage to the bathroom.

Snow flurries came down fast yesterday and this morning I woke up to the end of the world. Covered in blinding white ash, everything was deathly quiet and I heard only the soft tinkling of snow flakes blown against the windows. It seemed the end of the world had finally come and my, was it breathtaking. Eerie but so sublime. The streets glistened with ice, desolate and the rooftops of houses were covered like icing on cakes. The neighborhood was hauntingly quiet and I tip toed back to bed, into the warm arms of my husband.

( a view of our back yard into the neighbor’s toolshed )

( wooden stairs going up to our back porch )

( curry’s favorite past time : watching the world go by )

( curled up in his very comfortable cushion, fast asleep )