So there is truth in the proverbial cliché “you are my better half”.

Because when you are gone, my world starts to crumble and very quickly my façade of strength dissolves into an acerbic mess. I am left here, bitter and angry at the situation. At our situation.

But in complete honesty, except for your frequent occupational disappearances,  life in Japan has been generous. By the end of october, with my 3rd full paycheck I would be able to finish paying off all of my student loan. My pockets are deep and well-padded but like the travesty life is, I have found that when you’ve bought everything there is you want to buy, money no longer really makes you happy.

This is not to say that I have succumbed to sighing pathetically like nostalgic yuppies. I am immensely grateful with all this money but I am too heartbroken today to count my blessings. I was holding my own until now, but I suppose faced with the prospect of not seeing my husband until the end of next month can be quite daunting. Other couples have it easier. Not us.

Never us.

Depravity and deprivity. Such is the nature of the hidden maladies that fester in my soul. Until Patrick comes along and the lightness of his kisses give me redemption.